I had been thinking about enlarging my penis using an extender like the SizeGenetics device. But I also wondered if surgery might not be more effective. I mean, does the SizeGenetics extender really even work? It seemed like a lot of effort and discomfort for very small gains.
So I started visiting penis surgery clinics. I had to wait a long time in the waiting room for the first visit. Things did improve when Ron finally appeared. A twenty-something guy dressed in casual clothing, he dryly explained that the surgical technique was about 15 years old, and had originally been used on men who had been in car accidents or who suffered from microphalluses.
He estimated that Dr. Tyler had performed about 300 of the operations so far. Like Doug, the consultant at Dr. Mann’s office, he said that I would probably lose two to three days of work and would not be able to make love for six to eight weeks. Admittedly, this would not be the case if I tried to enlarge my penis with SizeGenetics.
I could expect a 50 percent overall increase in total penile mass, provided I worked out regularly with the weights. This was significantly more than if I used SizeGenetics. The only real difference I could see between the two doctors was price, as Ron quoted me a figure of $5,500 for the two phases of the operation — $400 less than Dr. Mann’s charges.
At this juncture, I was starting to have second thoughts. After my interview with Dr. Mann, I was definitely leaning toward having him perform the surgery. The snazzy office, his breezy sales pitch and the overall aura of cool professionalism that he projected definitely played well with me. But I guess that some part of me was offended that he hadn’t expressed more amazement that a guy with a rhino horn like mine was seriously considering such an operation.
Also, I’m a bit on the cheap side. Let’s face it: even though the SizeGenetics device was expensive, it was way cheaper than penis surgery.
The operation seemed pretty much the same whoever did it, so why should I shell out the extra money to have one guy do it rather than the other? Also, I kind of like to dicker, so when Ron said the doctor might knock an additional 5 percent off the sticker price if I provided my own financing, I was really starting to get interested. Indeed, Ron, after a bit of negotiating, said that Dr. Tyler could handle the operation for a mere five grand.
But then I heard that the penis surgery would be performed in Amityville.
The word hit me like a right hook to the groin. For weeks, I’d been living in a kind of trance, idly dreaming of buying myself the gift that keeps on giving. But now I was jolted right back to reality. As I thought back to the film The Amityville Horror, I found the weird imagery of the whole situation too discombobulating to deal with. I envisioned myself trapped in a house haunted by ghosts with large weights dangling from their penises, emitting ghastly shrieks in the middle of the night. I imagined spectral forms hunkered down in the basement mourning uncontrollably because they’d shelled out $5,000 and had gotten only an extra half an inch. I saw myself hounded in the dark hour before dawn by pitiful limping wraiths clutching their groin areas, pointing to the telltale surgical scar just above their penises.
Bitterly, I realized that it was time to bring an end to this strange interlude in my life. Penis extensions were fine for men cursed with microphalluses, victims of car accidents or editors at Vanity Fair. But now I realized that if God had already given me more than my share of penile equipment, it was pure folly not to be satisfied.
I decided to buy SizeGenetics.